I was considering whether to upload this post or not. But then I thought you would understand me better than anyone. You are also writers.
I'm in the process of translating my book while I'm revising. I know what are the things I have to change, the things I should avoid, but I am not able to do it.
It's so hard to accept that you know what you have to do but can’t do it! Sometimes I can’t find a stronger verb to replace an adverb. It sometimes seems impossible to me to know if I am showing or telling, I know the things that identify it but it is difficult to know when it’s appropriate to use each one of them. I know all writers battle with this.
There is also the dialogue, I know I should not explain much in dialogue but what if the narrator is a person who thinks and analyzes everything? I don’t want to bore the reader but my narrator is a person who feels what other people feel, so she constantly perceives things in the midst of situations and conversations, and she gets conclusions in the middle of them about what is happening. I avoid her to think or talk to herself through the dialogues?
Surely at some point I'll find the solution and is only a process but now I feel useless as a writer. I know that most likely this is also a problem of English not being my native language and it’s harder for me to find new words. That I must continue trying and that eventually it will be easier but right now I’m in a hole.
Really it has been a very difficult day with my writing, so much so that my SIL called from Spain and as soon as she heard me she knew I was depressed. She argued with me for half an hour for not having the Messenger of AOL which is what connects to the internal messengers of many companies and that way I could have talked to her about it when it was happening. Yes, i am a stubborn I have MSN, yahoo and Skype so I could have AIM. So I’m installing it also, another messenger to the pile ( is what you need when everybody is far away) I would love to talk more with my SIL and my phone service only gives free calls to Mexico, United States and Canada, so this is the solution.
Well finally talking about what matters I'm depressed and I do not know what to do with it but deep down I know I'll go out of this hole, that this is something I must do if I want to write in English. Probably tomorrow I will get up with a better attitude.
For now I feel relieved to have taken it out of me, to express what I really feel. I told my SIL, but she doesn’t understand because she isn’t a writer, so sometimes I can imagine her face of: are you really depressed about that?
I hope you understand me and not get bored with this post; I assure you that tomorrow I will return again to be me...